I have heard some wise words lately. Among these big truths, one that stands out is this: "When you make steps towards the universe, the universe takes steps back towards you." These days, I have felt the approaching footsteps of a someone, of a bigger place, one inch at a time.
I am not really the type to believe in fate (usually) or even coincidence (most of the time). In fact, I have never been sure of much of anything in life, save for two specific scenarios. (Colin + California are the examples that come to mind. True love and the right place will never let you down.) Still, there is a presence that has lately made me stand up and take notice, that has caused me to look around and realize that by walking into the unknown or practicing (often badly) a sense of patience, things begin to appear a little different, to take on an unfamiliar form. Despite my normal hesitations, this is not by accident. If nothing is new under the sun, sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to attempt to reopen our eyes. While it might take moved mountains to change the world, it doesn't take much to change the way we see it.
In the same strain, sometimes the way to move forward is to stand still, to turn back, to face a new direction, to look to someone else. I find this to be especially true from the mindset of a writer. If I am feeling unsure of what a character will do next, what a place looks like in the evening light, or even the very first word on the very first page, sometimes the very best thing I can do is walk away, interact with the real world, and find a way to unintentionally seek inspiration. That page of white open space is a friend or foe, depending on the angle you choose to stand by.
Mostly, perspective is optional. And if we chose to stay the same, then we've cornered ourselves. And this isn't just an extended mantra of positive thinking, because I know, I know, it seems daunting and immediately tiresome to try to imagine yourself as one of those glass-half-full types. Trust me, I was surely not innately gifted with the ability for that avenue of thinking or way of life. It's a learned process, to be sure. Though we all tend to do it imperfectly, on the days where I can say I've done it to the best of my ability, I can attest that there is a blessing contained that is much more than I ever could have imagined. On those more common days, however, where I just can't seem to pull it off, I feel that slight shift in the air, in the universe perhaps, where I can just barely see her, taking one mighty step back, hands on her worldly hips, shaking her head at me in disappointment.
We are who we think we are and we can do what we think we can do. If we stop ourselves before we have bothered, then we will never know what opportunities didn't get a chance to present themselves. If we believe something firmly, it has a better chance of growing into a reality, rather than to just waste away dismissing ourselves and thinking we are exactly nobody with exactly nothing of value. If the best you can do is stand in the proverbial doorway of possibility, sit on the porch of that ever-weary house and watch for passerbys, it's a step in the right direction. If you can only pretend to picture the call you will receive out of the blue, or the email, perhaps, from the last place you came to expect, be open. For every limitation we create for ourselves, there is an alternative route, a visit from the past, the kindness of a stranger (too true, all), a new and undiscovered option, a revisited sense of interest. After all, we never know who is listening or watching (though we often seem all too sure of who ISN'T). So stand ready, and strong. Be prepared to wait as much as you are prepared to move.
Note: For all the technological advancements available to us, when the glitch in the system decides to disintegrate the entry you were working on for two days, and feeling extremely pleased with by the way, after a minute or two of sobbing and/or saying "NO" to no one in particular, the upside here is a chance to A. Test your memory. Mine appears to be average. B. Rethink and re-meditate on your thoughts and C. Rewrite. How's THAT for a twist.
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